Posted on: 07/14/2012
Please forgive this journal I know that it is 1 month late 
It’s been 4 years…
- since you looked at me, with that wonderful smile.
- since you last tole me “I love you”.
- since I last climbed in your bed during a thunder storm because I was scared.
- since you last made me mad at you.
- since you last killed a spider as I ran away screaming.
- since we last went shopping for you.
- since you last said “don’t you ever get tired of being right”.
- since I last got to hug you.
- since I promised you would come home from the hospital.
- since you brightened my day, just by being you.
- since we last played GW together.
- since I failed you.
I FAILED YOU!
People tell me that I didn’t fail you, but I still to this day, know it’s true.
I failed you in so many ways, but I love you.
Life has been hard without you but I know you are with Pepper now, and your Mom and Dad.
I don’t begrudge you for going as I know your body was failing, but I still miss you.
I think of you every day.
I’m sorry we didn’t get out to see you this year, but life has been hell lately.
I know that’s just an excuse, and we missed last year too.
But please don’t think I forget.
I’ve never gone looking to replace you, because I know that would never be possible, but I’ve also learned, that there is no one even close to you.
You will ALWAYS be my Mommy,
and just always know,
I LOVE YOU!
Kimberly Elizabeth Fox
08/28/1955 – 06/11/2008
You were my Mommy by Choice not by Biology, and that was the LEAST of what made you special to me.
It’s been 4 years, since you looked at me.
2 Responses to "It’s been 4 years, since you looked at me."
07/18/2012 at 11:58 am
I miss her too. She was my sister by choice.
Note: watery eye.
07/14/2012 at 6:08 pm
Dear Piper,
We don’t know each other and have never corresponded, but still, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could help to take away your pain but I know I can’t. We each own or own pain and only we can deal with it. I don’t have to know someone to care about them.
I think, from what you’ve written you know intellectually that you didn’t fail your Mommy, Kim Em, but I realize that feelings are as valid as intellect and sometimes the two don’t relate. From what I’ve read here, rather than fail her, you’ve honored her with your love, and that’s the most wonderful gift we can give.
Your feelings are what they are and don’t you let anyone try to negate them. That said, I wish I had a way to comfort you, whether by finding the right words or by simply holding you in my arms and letting you cry yourself out.
But for now, God bless you and bring you the peace you deserve. And if you ever want to just talk to someone, my email is: ole.ulfson@gmail.com
Ole